Tuesday, June 24, 2008

handling emotions

"What I'm doing now, " he continued, his eyes still closed, "is detaching myself from the experience."

Detaching yourself?

"Yes, Detaching myself. And this is important--not just for someone like me, who is dying, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach."
He opened his eyes. He exhaled. "You know what the Buddhists say? Don't cling onto things, because everything is impermanent."

But wait, I said. Aren't you always talking about experiencing life? All the good emotion, all the bad ones?

"Yes."

Well, how can you do that if you're detached?

"Ah. You're thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."

I'm lost.

"Take any emotion--love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that love entails.
"By throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognise that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment' "
.
.
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Morrie talked about his most fearful moments, when he felt his chest locked in heaving surges or when he wasn't sure where his next breath would come from. These were horrifying times, he said, and his first emotions were horror, fear, anxiety. But once he recognised the feel of those emotions, their texture, their moisture, the shiver down the back, the quick flash of heat that crosses your brain--then he was able to say, "Okay. This is fear. Step away from it. Step away."

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be true to your emotions, and if they are not desired, just feel them, 'their texture, their moisture'. know how they feel like, and only then you'll be able to step away from it.

just as before or during a competition,
don't be afraid to feel anxious, nervous, scared or even excited
feel them, know how they feel like, how your heart beats, how you start to get breathless...
and only then you step away from these feelings, and truly detach from them.
when you do so, allow your concentration, your focus, your true and original actions to come into your mind.
that's all you need to do, and do it right. nothing else matters.

singhui



|boo(:| 9:52 PM|

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Thursday, June 19, 2008
i love every single one of you, really.

i hardly talk about shooting on this blog. oh wells. i dunno.
i guess speaking about it never fails to make me feel a little disappointed with myself as a shooter and as a captain, that's why i don't do it.

but you girls, are nothing short of excellent. each of you has been inspiring and special to me in your own way.


To those shooting for nationals, i have confidence in you. i'm sure that the team will be proud of you regardless of score. And those not selected for the first team, i have always been proud of you. thank you for your efforts and dedication, your hard work is appreciated.

okay, i shall stop blabbering. here you go, the first team for APG 2008

B div:
shooter 1: dilshaad
shooter 2: fiona
shooter 3: yening

A div:
shooter 1: Sing Hui
shooter 2: Xinhang
shooter 3: Samantha
shooter 4: Shujen

my personal messages to people!
yb: how much we've been through together. four years of shooting together. how we always have each other to complain about certain people or policies in the club. haha! there's too much to say when it comes to you. even though you give up on some shoots, you never gave up shooting even when things were really going not so smoothly for you.

sh: i'm really thankful for such a good vice cap. someone who's always willing to help the team and care for us individually. thank you for always thinking of exercises to help us improve in out shooting techniques. thank you for never failing to encourage me in my shooting even! hahaa the concentration training, the one that made out arms die. also, the day when we talked till like 3am just for fun. i would never forget that!

xinyuan: heh, i have this feeling you wont read this. maybe not so for shooting you've inspired me in other ways. like in mugging! how much effort you put in your work. thank you for always encouraging me and for trying to make me study. you'll always be my good study buddy, xin! (:

ailin: ailin, i've known you the longest among the pistol girls. heh, you are always so enthusiastic and so passionate in your interests. i'm sure every single pistol girlie would agree with me that you've got a really great personality. you're so helpful and such a pleasant girl that everybody loves. thank you for running 2.4 with me! for helping me with my 5 stations too. love yaa
P.S. i'll never forget your "my buddy left me for a while" lol.

shujen: hi shujen. i was, still am very touched by the sms you sent me last year after the exco elections. even though you didnt get the post of vice cap, you said that you'll always be there to help the team. i'm sure that you will be a role model and a captain that the team will look up to.

sam: you're so adorable! am really grateful how you offered to mentor xinhang and char, and you want to take the sec ones next year (hope they wont be annoying) you're ever so cheery yet serious when it comes to training.


jolene: jolene! you're not so inspiring, but still a great junior i love! haha. for the haircuts we've had tgt and how much you want to do for the club as an AD. you're a great friend.

charmian: for not giving up, for pursuing your interest in shooting. even though we were initially hesitant about taking you in, i'm really glad that you're part of us now, really.

yening: you've really grown. more sensible now. you're always one who would give your best in whatever you set out to achieve. that's great! i'm sure shujen and you will do well.

jiani: thank you for always offering to transport guns back to school and for buying meals for us during training camp, even if it means having to walk from hostel to school. for giving a good luck message to anyone who has a test/exam. you're encouraging and haha, extremely funny! soy sauce has salt?? toner doesnt tone legs?? so cute la! for always making the effort to come down to train whenever you can. yep.

20c: you've got talent, i'm sure you know it. And the confidence that is required of a good shooter. very serious when it comes to training, which is a good thing. hilarious in your own way (honestly never met someone funny in your "that" way)

dilshaad: your attitude towards competition is good, ya know. you know the right thing to do and you do it right. dillie, it's the last lap for nats. give your best during training!

fiona: your hard work has paid off. you've improved so much over the months! so proud of you. your dedication and seriousness towards shooting can be seen whenever you are at the lane (you stand there for so long la). and it makes me smile.

shirley: hey girl, despite your busy schedule, you never fail to train whenever you can. i see how hard you work, in art, in council, in shooting and i'm glad you are in our team, really. shooting club is not really just about shooting, it is about the people.

ning: havent had as much interaction with you, but hopefully you'll be more attached to the team as time passes. continue to train hard (:

sorry the last few so short, my papa chasing me off the com.
gee. it took me very long to write this.

i suppose this will be my last serious post on this blog and i just wanted to say, i love ya all.

with love,
gen
the unglam APG cap 07-08


|boo(:| 12:02 AM|

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